Anxious and Unable

Journal 2005 10 04

Anxious but unable. Ever felt that way?

Most of us live our lives somewhere between wanting to move on and being restrained from accomplishing the things we desire to complete. This human dilemma is a drama lived out across the world every day.

Lewis and Clark and their small force are anxious to resume their press westward. They are restrained on a couple of fronts from proceeding rendering them unable. Anxious, yet unable to “proceed on.” Two of the five canoes being formed out of tree trunks are completed. The two completed canoes are tested in the river. One is very good and the other found to be “a little leaky.” The leak is repaired and both craft are called river worthy. Work progresses on the other three, but most of the men are still sick and progress is slow. And they are still eating salmon and roots!

The hunters are unable to find and kill deer again today. They say it is the hot, dry and noisy conditions that make getting close enough to the deer difficult. Their menu choices are limited. Game or fish and roots. No Safeway, no McDonald’s and certainly no Starbuck’s.

How would our modern tastes and standards respond to the menu choices at Canoe Camp? “Would you like fish and roots or roots and fish? Oh by the way, you might want to take it easy with them, they’ve been a little disagreeable with some of your friends.” I really do think we would adjust. This point illustrates just how far we’ve progressed in our ability to gather and deliver food and supplies. We enjoy great comfort. Much of it has its foundations in men like these willing to endure hardship for future rewards. Rewards they are unlikely to fully receive.

How desperate must you be when you are eating something you know is highly likely to cause you distress? Two hundred years ago the world was not as sanitized as ours is today. It wasn’t unusual for people to have physical problems from the food they ate. I’m sure the men thought they would “adjust” to the new diet and move on.

So they are still bloating and cramping as they attempt to complete their canoes and move downstream to more promising supplies of meat. Clark notes that Lewis is able to rise and walk a little today.

“For we brought nothing into the world, and it is clear that we can carry nothing out. But having food and clothing, we will be content.” (1 Timothy 6:6-8)

Are we, am I, anxious and unable today? Can I find contentment in what provisions I have? Am I doing the work that is needed to proceed on? Or am I seeking comfort at the expense of something greater?